A Letter to Self

I've been surviving off of Twizzlers, vodka and cocaine,
a mixture of failures and regrets
and every fucking time
I see myself in the mirror
I think
god what a has been.

But I swear I'll be better.
I've been learning how to
read
  b e t w e e n
  t h e
  l i n e s

how to make origami out of butterfly
wings
how to grow bonsai trees out of
rib cages
and I've plucked the few
  stars down from the fucking city skies
                --the ones you wanted to see more of--
and I've inked them into my daisy chain arms
so
maybe
maybe you can look past my failures
regrets
and see how much I

shine



I'm living off of Twizzlers, vodka, and cocaine,
my steady diet of wallowing pity
but maybe I can change.
It's all I look forward to.