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I.

[i don’t want to
have to tell you i’m
sorry
again but
lately it’s been tough.
And i’m stricken with this feeling that
maybe i’m not good enough.]
run.

you see, somewhere out there
        birds are looking for nests and birds
        are finding them in the ribcages of souls but i
am tired of picking straw from my heart
and strings and hair that wrap around my fingers i’m—

[well sometimes i’m a little lonely
but i never wanted to tell you that]
escape.
--tired of seeing the ball i wind from
those leftover nests grow and grow—
                    [and i want more, want more, but
                                sometimes there’s only so much my heart can hold]
get out.
--and grow






II.
my life is a tree collecting bottles that
some drunken hippie filled with dye
and when the sun shines everything is fine
but when thunderstorms brew they are just dead
weight

i want to do what i want.
[i want more]
and sometimes walking is a chore. sometimes
    talking is hard when life is pushing on your chest
          and whispering in your ear
[i am drowning]
i can’t breathe.
anything more and i'll snap





III.
maybe this is why i write midnight poetry,
sugar-and-milk coffee poetry,
a warm blanket poetry, the kind
written when i’m most         secure.
                    [alone]


   but the problem with these moods are the damned birds that come with them.
and sometimes i  think
maybe if i slept, and slept, and slept,
they’d just build their damned nests and i,

i would feel better.




[i'’ve been
waiting for far
too long in the night,
and maybe i never wanted to
have to tell you this but lately
i’ve been feeling]















[alone].
Ah, sorry. Wrote this just before I dropped off of the face of dA (excluding short, simple journals). I'm not quite ready to reply to the masses of comments I have, or really get back into dA yet, but I've been lurking around quietly.
So, maybe this will substitute for a little while.
Confusing layout, I know, but things are done for a reason, especially in poetry, yes?
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-13
Anxieties of a Conflicted Introvert by ~Pencil-Wolf The suggester says, "This poem has a wonderful ache to it and uses formatting excellently to create a sense of organized chaos." ( Suggested by Nichrysalis and Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconrandomite93:
randomite93 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
So, I was reading your journal, and decided visit your page to see what you've done. I stalked your gallery and then... 

A Daily Deviation. 

I can't even... 

To think I started watching you when you were writing these simple, descriptive poems to what you mustered now. I'm really happy and proud for you! Congratulations on the DD, Pen! ^^ 

About the poem itself, there is only so much I can say: I love the odd formatting; it's something I rarely see in my inbox! This poem feels natural, too. Very emotional and awesome! 

As always, great job! ^^


Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks so much Random!  (Ah, this is so late!) But thanks! It means a lot that you still keep in touch with me!
Reply
:iconrandomite93:
randomite93 Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
It's no problem! It means a lot that you reply X3 
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Student General Artist
^^
Reply
:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I still love this poem. :heart:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm glad. (: :heart:
Reply
:iconle-letha:
le-letha Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you...I feel like you've taken all the things I can't figure out how to say to someone important to me and put them into a poem. So it is possible. Thank you.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much. <3 Your comment means a lot to me.
I hope you find your words for them.
Reply
:iconlyfforreal:
lyfforreal Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Personally, I think the way this was written reflects what a minute of thinking, and over-thinking, is like for Introverts. Love it.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Which, when I was writing it, was exactly what I was doing. XD Thanks!
Reply
:icontherockstarpoet:
Therockstarpoet Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Nicely done. It's transcendent, which is what I look for. Most people will write about superficial flowers, which is fine. After all poetry is freedom. But I never write something unless it is a concept most people find hard to think about. Clearly you have done that. Introvered behaviors are a subject less covered. Keep it up.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconphyreflye:
Phyreflye Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't easily say i like something. But i honestly love this.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you, I'm glad. ^^
Reply
:iconxadyuydax:
XadyuydaX Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It's like you are in my head... ;-;
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. ^^;
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconxadyuydax:
XadyuydaX Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
When I shared this on my FB account, this was the picture that DA posted with it..

Somehow feels fitting.. Don't you think?

fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/201…
Reply
:iconamandaowl:
amandaowl Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013
love!
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconkmoracle:
KMoracle Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013
wana be friends
Reply
:icondetoxingdeath:
DetoxingDeath Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013
I'm going to read this for a long time. Thank-you.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you <3 I'm glad you like it.
Reply
:iconhezzaclair:
HezzaClair Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Made me cry. Beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to share something so powerful.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much <3 I'm glad it made an impact.
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
:iconaglimpseofme:
AGlimpseOfMe Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Professional General Artist
I love the emotion displayed in this poem and how the layout actually helps convey that mood. Great job and congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013
Gorgeous work, congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
:huggle:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconwdnest:
wdnest Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful work.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you ^^
Reply
:iconblueeyes0001:
Blueeyes0001 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This really hits close to my heart! Very well written! I love the title you put to this! I feel like crying now! Congrats on the Daily Deviation well deserved indeed!
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, I'm glad it impacted you so much! ^^; Thank you <3
Reply
:iconwugfish:
wugfish Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This reads like my own thought process put to paper, so familiar yet not recognized until someone else puts it down. Thank you for writing this, it speaks through the mental haze as if nothing were in the way
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you felt something in it. ^^
Reply
:iconfatpaws:
FatPaws Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
THATS AWESOME *0* i.... need a hug :meow:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks! ^^ :hug:
Reply
:iconfatpaws:
FatPaws Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
thank YOU for bringing this wonderfull point of view of the world, thank you very much
Reply
:iconopal-moon:
opal-moon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
a couple of days ago i couldn't stop crying and i didnt even knwo how to explain to people around me why. and what you wrote does that so completely. so thank you i guess...
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconpikachu37:
PIKACHU37 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Oh, Oh my god... This is beautiful... Something from the heart such as this... 
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, I'm glad you liked it so much! Thank you <3
Reply
:iconthemoltendragon:
TheMoltenDragon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is so amazing <3
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconurbyncolure:
urbyncolure Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely beautiful,  your imagery and descriptions are amazing. 
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconurbyncolure:
urbyncolure Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem :) your writing was incredible
Reply
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