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Submitted on
September 25, 2013
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I.

[i don’t want to
have to tell you i’m
sorry
again but
lately it’s been tough.
And i’m stricken with this feeling that
maybe i’m not good enough.]
run.

you see, somewhere out there
        birds are looking for nests and birds
        are finding them in the ribcages of souls but i
am tired of picking straw from my heart
and strings and hair that wrap around my fingers i’m—

[well sometimes i’m a little lonely
but i never wanted to tell you that]
escape.
--tired of seeing the ball i wind from
those leftover nests grow and grow—
                    [and i want more, want more, but
                                sometimes there’s only so much my heart can hold]
get out.
--and grow






II.
my life is a tree collecting bottles that
some drunken hippie filled with dye
and when the sun shines everything is fine
but when thunderstorms brew they are just dead
weight

i want to do what i want.
[i want more]
and sometimes walking is a chore. sometimes
    talking is hard when life is pushing on your chest
          and whispering in your ear
[i am drowning]
i can’t breathe.
anything more and i'll snap





III.
maybe this is why i write midnight poetry,
sugar-and-milk coffee poetry,
a warm blanket poetry, the kind
written when i’m most         secure.
                    [alone]


   but the problem with these moods are the damned birds that come with them.
and sometimes i  think
maybe if i slept, and slept, and slept,
they’d just build their damned nests and i,

i would feel better.




[i'’ve been
waiting for far
too long in the night,
and maybe i never wanted to
have to tell you this but lately
i’ve been feeling]















[alone].
Ah, sorry. Wrote this just before I dropped off of the face of dA (excluding short, simple journals). I'm not quite ready to reply to the masses of comments I have, or really get back into dA yet, but I've been lurking around quietly.
So, maybe this will substitute for a little while.
Confusing layout, I know, but things are done for a reason, especially in poetry, yes?
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-13
Anxieties of a Conflicted Introvert by ~Pencil-Wolf The suggester says, "This poem has a wonderful ache to it and uses formatting excellently to create a sense of organized chaos." ( Suggested by Nichrysalis and Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconrandomite93:
randomite93 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
So, I was reading your journal, and decided visit your page to see what you've done. I stalked your gallery and then... 

A Daily Deviation. 

I can't even... 

To think I started watching you when you were writing these simple, descriptive poems to what you mustered now. I'm really happy and proud for you! Congratulations on the DD, Pen! ^^ 

About the poem itself, there is only so much I can say: I love the odd formatting; it's something I rarely see in my inbox! This poem feels natural, too. Very emotional and awesome! 

As always, great job! ^^


Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks so much Random!  (Ah, this is so late!) But thanks! It means a lot that you still keep in touch with me!
Reply
:iconrandomite93:
randomite93 Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
It's no problem! It means a lot that you reply X3 
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Student General Artist
^^
Reply
:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student Writer
I still love this poem. :heart:
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm glad. (: :heart:
Reply
:iconle-letha:
le-letha Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013
Thank you...I feel like you've taken all the things I can't figure out how to say to someone important to me and put them into a poem. So it is possible. Thank you.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much. <3 Your comment means a lot to me.
I hope you find your words for them.
Reply
:iconlyfforreal:
lyfforreal Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Personally, I think the way this was written reflects what a minute of thinking, and over-thinking, is like for Introverts. Love it.
Reply
:iconpencil-wolf:
Pencil-Wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Which, when I was writing it, was exactly what I was doing. XD Thanks!
Reply
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